2 Weeks in...

Well, as the title suggests, it has been 2 weeks since our move.
I chose tonight to write because I am feeling really weird and overwhelmed at the moment and I think this could be cathartic. The emotions and thoughts within me are muddled, confused, and at odds with each other.

For one, I like Manchester a lot. It's very nice and pretty much everything I could want is right here at my fingertips. The two weeks I have lived here (strictly in a location sense) have been significantly better than the whole of the time I spent in Columbia. It's simply a better place to live.

I may be getting a part time job soon. I'm glad about that, but a bit freaked out as well. You see, the last two weeks have been a weird sort of limbo. It's almost like I have been on this strange vacation. I haven't written anything, comics, blogs, whatever. All I've really done is unpack, read, and see what the area has to offer. In addition, I spent a weekend in Chicago and a Saturday/Sunday in Columbia. So I haven't really gotten the chance to see what life is really going to be like.

I know that I miss my friends. I worry that Brad will love Chicago and take on a job where he'll never have any free time. In other words, things will change irreversibly and not necessarily for the better. In a situation like that, it's virtually impossible not to grow apart and it's nobody's fault if that happens. At the end of the day, the things you have in common are picked off until the day arrives that you realize that you live on completely different planets.
I'm stuck between wanting the best for a great friend and the desire to have access to said friend. I'm trying to mature, but truth be told, I hope this summer goes horribly and that forces him to pursue something at least in the same galaxy.

That said, I am scared of my own life as well.
It is very likely that next year, I will have three books that see light. That is awesome and I really hope they all pan out. But that's a lot of pressure. I still feel so much like a kid. In fact, I looked at a copy of Ultimate X-Men tonight and thought how odd it was that Marvel put such a responsibility on a kid like Robert Kirkman. But he's NOT a kid. And I'm not either.
So forgive me my existential crisis. I have them more often than most people.
Doesn't seem to be much I can do about it.
My other career is freaking me out too. Recently, I decided to pursue a career as a psychologist. And that means more school. Like now.
Actually going to school seems like something I can handle. It's all of the paperwork and process that goes into getting there that kills me. Like in any job, I find the application process to be far harder than doing the actual job. I guess it involves a certain amount of organization and memory and filling in the blanks that I just can't do.
I really think that this is what is getting to me. It's way hot outside and the rain they keep promising never quite makes an appearance.
It's funny. You go so long doing the same thing and what you need is really a change. Something different to break the monotony.
And then that change comes and, as in cases such as the one I currently find myself in, you wish for some of the same. Just something to wrap my arms around and feel comfortable. Luckily, I have my wife and dogs, but I think they're feeling the same thing. That's right, even my dachshunds are existentially aware. If you don't believe me, look in their eyes. You'll see it.
Basically at this point, all I can do is look for these changes to be better than life was before. I don't promise that this will be the case, but I think it will. And on the days where I'm not so sure, I hope like all hell.

Now I just have to get my friends to move to St Louis...

God I'm a whiny bitch sometimes. I'm not always like this, I swear.